Renting an Apartment

Coming home to your apartment makes you want to…
A.   Revel in the warm glow of hearth and home
B.   Relax with a cognac in the library
C.   Wretch if you have to look at that green shag carpet again

If it’s time to pull yourself up by the nasty carpet strings and find that place with the crown molding, French windows and hardwood floors that every fool on TV seems to have, then before you embark on this mission-seemingly-impossible, here are the five things you should know

Thing No 1

There's usually at least one rental resource out there that really has decent listings.

Every city is filled with the big conglomerate rental agencies that advertise the charming little cottages for a song and when you sign up, you find out that they mean is cheesy complex with thin walls and cheap blinds. Find a localized service that knows the area and is a destination for the landlord who has fewer than 300 units to rent and has more like…I dunno…one? If you find a good one, it shouldn’t be more than 10-12 bucks per month. If you search for 3 months, it should be well worth it. On the flip side, the big ones are free to renters because they’re making their money on the other end which means you’re in conglomerate hell.

Thing No 2

craigslist.

This is destination central when it comes to starting the search. Since it''s pretty cheap to list, it’s a great resource for the less than wealthy land baron who has a charming little place or two and is looking to hand pick just the right candidate (you). Sort by location and then just browse around to get a feel for what’s out there and how much things cost. And, it’s free: www.craigslist.org

Thing No 3

Stay away from the big local newspaper.

Conglomerate hell again and too many come-ons. Go for the alternative press and the penny-saver paper; recycler.com.

Thing No 4

Don''t bother if it doesn't sound great.

Most of the places that do sound great, aren't so you can rest assured that those that don't, really aren’t. If you think you’re going to find some gem that everyone has overlooked…you’re not and you’re going to kill yourself with exhaustion trying and really kill yourself when you see what’s out there. Focus

Thing No 5

Know the code.

There are plenty of legends about how “cozy” means the size of a postage stamp and “charming” stands for dilapidated and “rustic” well, rustic really is the Defcon 5 warning of apartment rentals. Rustic usually means no plumbing when used in reference to a villa in Tuscany. We don’t even want to know what it means in a rental apartment. Rusticity aside, while these words might very well be euphemisms, they can often be indications that your in the right zone. Nobody would dare describe a downtown hi-rise as “charming” would they? Well, in New York they would, but New York has it’s own set of rules. Anyway, keep an eye out for the lexicon that seems to pay off for you.