We’re guessing you already know there’s a 50% chance that this is bad idea and a colossal waste of money. But, you’re feeling like the lucky half and unless you’re Hugh Hefner, this is probably the biggest shindig you’ll ever throw so you might as well try to enjoy it while it lasts.
Thing No. 1 You will go over budget but you might as well have one.
Show us somebody who doesn’t go over budget on their wedding and we’ll show you someone who can eat just one Lays potato chip. We don’t claim to be www.theknot.com but we know a few things to get you prepped for this undertaking and the first is that you need to decide how much you and your loved ones are prepared to spend on this ordeal. The average couple – well, let’s call a spade a spade – the average bride (a white spade) spends almost $30,000 on a wedding these days. This always seems slightly odd to us since those same average couples go on to struggle for years to put together a down payment for their first home.
It generally breaks down as follows:
Catering 40%
Reception Facility 03%
Florist 08%
Music 10%
Gown/Tuxes 14%
Photography 07%
Invitations 04%
Gifts 04%
Transportation 02%
Misc. 08%
There are a multitude of wedding budget calculators available out there including www.theweddingchannel.com
Thing No. 2 The more discriminating you are about whom you invite, the more your costs will come down.
There are a variety of ways to reduce costs but the fastest way is to reduce your guest list. That average cost of $30K is based on an average of about 150 guests. Most people pay close $80- $100 for every mouth they feed at these things so make sure you want to buy Aunt Dixie’s BFF a $100 dinner before you let Dix whine you into putting her on the guest list. Don’t assume everyone gets a “plus one."
Thing No. 3 You’re going to want a checklist.
The big items that you’ll need to have a wedding are a date, (do be flexible and plan well in advance) a location (ceremony and reception) and a guest list. Beyond that, checklists are also widely available but here’s a handy list of things to which you should give some thought to help you start budgeting:
• Gown
o Hair/Makeup
o Preparation Room
o Pre-Wedding Pampering
• Attendants
• Minister
• Florist
o Ceremony decorations
o Bridal bouquet
o Bridesmaids bouquet
o Boutonnieres
o Corsages
o Reception centerpieces/decorations
• Invitations/Save-the-Date
• Cake
• Menu
• Music
o Ceremony
o Cocktail
o Reception
• Photographer/Videographer
o Prints
• Tuxes/Groom Accessories
• Attendant Gifts
• Parent Gifts
• Favors
• Rehearsal Dinner
• Programs
• Rings
• Tips (limo drivers/caterers/photographers)
• Wedding Night Accommodations
Thing No. 4 Go down the list in Thing No. 3 and slash costs.
Location/Date – go off-season – Saturday nights in June are not a good idea. A Monday night on the beach in January is a great idea. Perhaps you can settle on something in between. A single location for ceremony and reception will save money.
Time – Brunch/late afternoon is cheaper than dinner especially since people booze a little less.
Flowers – Go in-season – tulips in September doesn’t work. Also, if you or someone you know has a special knack, by all means buy the flowers and arrange them yourself. The florist cost is in the labor. Fill up on the greens and be judicious about the blooms. Be creative with centerpieces – sea shells, candles, rocks, even fishbowls have all been done with much aplomb.
Invitations – Go Green. Minimal paper is the key and only the real old-school does engraved anymore. Even if you want that look, it is more cost-effectively achieved with thermography, It’s really more fabulous to just design and print something snappy. Maybe www.evite.com is pushing it (although it is green!) but even if you’re not feeling snappy, you can download lovely DIY templates at www.myjeanm.com and www.thepapermillstore.com If you really want to be green, do without the save-the-date and the program. You can also skip the reply card – provide an email address to which guests can reply and maybe a regular address for Granny – let her use her own stationery and stamp.
Cake – this is an oldie but a goodie – fake bottom tiers. We guarantee you have been fooled by this ruse before and never knew it. Have the baker make a small cake that will serve as the top tier which, you will cut into. The trick is, after the bride and groom cuts the cake and all that hoopla ensues, it is whisked away to the kitchen where the staff cuts into a big ole’ sheet cake and serves to the unsuspecting guests. Some people don’t even bother with the ruse – apparently in the interest of full disclosure they simply have a small decorative cake on display and the real sheet cake for eating is in the kitchen. The youngsters are skipping the cake altogether and serving cupcakes (much cheaper). In any case, cut desert from the menu – the cake is plenty.
Do us all a favor and skip the favors – nobody really wants these tschotchkes nor do we need to be reminded of where we are and why on napkins, matchbooks etc.
Photography – Try to buy the negatives not the prints and get the prints developed on your own. Ask a friend to videotape. Ask an even better friend to edit.
Thing No. 5 All the old, charming rules are indeed old and no longer charming.
Unless the bride is being delivered to the groom along with a certain amount of livestock, don’t assume that all the old customs about who pays for what still hold. In this day and age most couples foot at least half the bill for their weddings and if you’re over 35 – unless your parents are the Trumps or the Hiltons – you really should pay for the whole thing. (Feel free to accept a lavish gift however.) Attendants usually pick up the cost for their own clothing and out-of-town guests generally pay their own expenses. (Again, Trumps and Hiltons exempted.)
Thing No. 6 Bargain shop for that gown.
We know this whole wedding gown thing is a deep, psychological issue with the ability to turn an otherwise sensible woman into someone resembling Lil’ Bo Peep whining “it’s my day!” for weeks on end. There are so many ways to get a wedding gown (and bridesmaid dresses) for a fraction of the full retail cost, it’s beyond irrational to dump a fortune into this article that will be worn for 6 hours.
